Reply To: Game Intelligence / Decision Training

DaveM (and whomever), here is some more of my personal philosophy… not just the 'what' I deliver, but the 'how' the message is delivered (some background to help explain the 'why'!) …

Having lots of conversations with John the Colombian lately; mainly about philosophy. We have been looking back over our respective playing and coaching paths, focusing on what impacted us the most, and plotting what is in our respective futures… "How do we get better?"

One of the biggest things both John and I have come to realize is the old cliche is so true… I first heard it in a coach clinic in the mid 1980's… "The players don't care how much you know, till they know how much you care."

I thought it was good advice at the time. As a young coach, I really took this to heart and tried to honour this. I had some of my most memorable years and best, enduring relationships with my players and their parents (and coincidentally, great results / outcomes!) when I deeply cared about all of my players. I let them know it, too. You know, when a kid screwed up on or off the ice, I really took it personally and it was tough. But I think this made me a better coach and I know the kids appreciated my concern.

In hindsight, about ten years in, I can see how I started to slip farther from this advice. I became a "transactional coach" with winning (an uncontrollable outcome) becoming one of my most important measuring sticks. Not 'win at all costs' as I still wanted to honour the spirit of the game, but I thought and talked about winning more than the process. I started to distance myself from my players. I didn't communicate with them as much – at least, not about their life away from the rink.

I wasn't so focused on performance (within our control; therefore where my / our focus should have been.) Performance and outcomes varied; but generally weren't where I wanted them to be. We 'under-achieved'. I felt this was influenced by the other coaches I was working with and around at the time. It seemed that this was the accepted hockey culture / coaching environment and the higher you got, the more it became like this. We were all concerned about getting to the next level – using each position to leverage the next position higher up the ladder. After awhile, my internal moral compass really started to conflict with 'what' I was doing and 'how' I was doing it.

My dad got diagnosed with terminal cancer in early October and I ended up resigning my WHL coaching position in mid-December as my gift to him. I wanted to spend the rest of his days by his side. He said that was the greatest gift he had ever received. We always had tickets to attend the Flames / Montreal game on New Year's Eve. I made special arrangements to get him in (wheelchair) with the Flames, but he was too weak to go. He entered a hospice overnight and passed Jan 13th. I still have the unused tickets in my folio. Obviously, this had a huge impact on me personally. I took a year away from coaching. It was a good break for me and I started to re-establish my moral compass. Dad's passing really made me appreciate life and see things in a new light. It changed me.

I got lured back as an assistant coach at Midget AAA a full year later, after the New Year's break (the head coach quit and his AC took over but needed another AC. We had worked together previously for a few years…) It was nice to work with some kids who wanted to get better, without the same intense pressure of the WHL (winning / outcomes).

After that season, I was asked to coach girls at university, I 're-found' some of the connection with my athletes, but hindsight being truthful, didn't recover quite back to my early levels. I still felt my job was on the line if we didn't win, so this outcome was still on my radar.

When I left the girls and went back to coach the guys at MRC, it was all I could do to get through the year. I recognized within two weeks that I had inherited a lot of issues (14+ 'projects') that no coach should have to go through all in one season (excessive chewing tobacco, drugs, heavy alcohol abuse, run in's with the police, lying, violence on and off the ice, a lack of demonstrable respect, etc.) There wasn't enough time in the day to change this group – particularly because they didn't want to change. They were young adults and were set in their ways. Sad that their previous coaches (parents?) allowed them to get to this. Many of the players lived a life that I felt was counter-intuitive to an athlete; the lack of maturity and leadership really made me happy to end it after one year. (We had our first child at the end of the year and our family agreement had been that when our first miracle appeared, it would be time to step away from coaching a team and focus on family. I was so grateful to be free of that situation!)

During my time coaching the girls and boys at university, I started teaching at several skill academies (Jr. and Sr. High). I have continued this and it has been an excellent avenue to stay involved. I have been able to stay on the ice, continue to fine-tune my Game Intelligence Training curriculum (on and off-ice) and more importantly, return to the roots of my initial philosophy, "They don't care how much you know, until they know you care!" This has become especially important to me now as a parent of two young children… I see their wonder and love in their eyes… and I see that reflected in the other kids I coach. "Daddy-ism" has changed me – again – for the better and I continue to evolve!

After all of life's experiences and all of the experimenting and reading I have done along the way, I feel Daniel Coyle (and other researchers) are really onto something when they talk about the factors behind what makes an athlete successful. In the realm of Talent ID, expertise, etc., one of the major influences is THE COACH. The coach can act as an IGNITOR – a spark – to encourage someone's passion and help propel them to the next level. (They can also easily suffocate or extinguish someone's love for the game… DON'T be that coach! "Hey Gretzky, Pass! Shoot! Hit him! Don't take such long shifts… get off the ice, you puck hog!" … SHUT UP and let the game be the best teacher! Do you think Wayne's Pee Wee coaches told him any of these things? I doubt it… more like, "Wayne, your up next… stay out there Wayne…. nice goal again Wayne!" He scored 378 goals in that Pee Wee year!)

I feel that since my kids have been born, I have whole-heartedly returned to this initial philosophy and I have seen great results with the kids in the skill academies. Granted, it is a different relationship than a 'coach / team' one, but I do see a positive difference. It's not just the 'what' (Game Intelligence Training curriculum); it's the 'how' (a TRANSFORMATIONAL COACH – not a transactional coach) that is most important.

I think all kids deserve a transformational coach (I wish I would have had a coach like this!); so that is what I am in the process of becoming.

Can anyone else reflect upon the type of coach they are now? Or on their coaching journey in general? Hopefully we can have a few more people share a playing / coaching story that illustrates their past or current or future style of coaching / leadership. It is great to use this forum to learn from each other – even if it means opening up and sharing personal thoughts and influences!