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hockeygodNew rules for a Sens reporter
Ian Mendes, Sportsnet.ca, December 9, 2011
As a Rogers employee — and a guy who covers the Ottawa Senators for a living — I'm absolutely stunned by the news that we've purchased the Toronto Maple Leafs.
What does this mean for us in the field?
I'm fortunate enough to be able to share an internal memo that was sent out to us early this morning, just minutes after the sale was announced.
Dear reporters and on-air talent,
Congratulations on your recent purchase of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Here are some editorial guidelines to keep in mind, now that we own the most powerful sports franchise in this country:
No. 1: Going forward, Leafs GM Brian Burke will approve all of your scripts related to the Toronto Maple Leafs. So in short, this is business as usual.
No. 2: If Leafs coach Ron Wilson is surly and combative towards you in a press conference, you are free to tell him, "Don't make me take this up with HR."
No. 3: Speaking of HR, it's not permissible to access an employee's emergency contact information for the purposes of news gathering. (ie – James Reimer).
No. 4: Because of heightened sensitivity of two major cell phone companies owning the team, when reading highlights after a Leafs defensive breakdown, please do not use the term "poor coverage."
No. 5: On your next paycheque — in addition to federal tax, CPP, medical and other deductions — there will be a mysterious "JFD" of $3.24 per employee. This will be known as the Jeff Finger Deduction.
No. 6: Toronto FC will now be ahead of the Ottawa Senators in the news lineup. Once again, this is business as usual.
No. 7: Archived footage of the 1993 playoffs will only be permissible up to and including Game 5 of the Conference Final against Los Angeles.
No. 8: Every six weeks, anchors will be forced to fabricate a story about how Telus and Virgin Mobile are close to teaming up to buy the Toronto Argos. There will then be 15 seconds of canned laughter.
Dean
M.Ed (Coaching)
Ch.P.C. (Chartered Professional Coach)
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