Reply To: Competitiveness

[Tom Molloy]

Today is a day that I really think of my days coaching my son. I just took him to the airport to go back to Ryerson in Toronto.

I had been coaching college at SAIT and U of C in Calgary and been watching my son play the first two years at 5 and 6. Practices were standing in line and the second year all the coach did was skating drills. I volunteered to coach but wasn't selected because they had 11 teams and 13 applied. I asked why and the head guy said he didn't like me. I said I don't even know you so how can you like or dislike me. Anyway I was asst. coach for a few years but ran all the practices.

I was still the asst. at the U of Calgary but they practiced between 4-6 and played on F and S evenings but there wasn't that much conflict in times. I also coached my youngest daughers team when she tried hockey in div. 10, That is another story.

I became the head coach by the time he was 10. Anyway he played with a lot of the same kids through the ten years I was in minor hockey. We won many championships and minor hockey weeks and tournaments including the Provincials when he played on teams that could win that title.

I remember one critical time. He was about 9 and we were talking about the game that just finished. I said something about the way he played and he looked at me and said; "So you don't think I am a very good player" I said to myself "woowh I can't talk to him like I do to college age guys" and I said something like "no I think you are a really good player" and from then on I was very gentle with any negative and very sure to point out any positive.

Only one team in 10 years was my coaching a problem. We had won the bantam 2 cities and bantam 1 city and provincials and when we went into midget the midget 1 parents from the year before made the association promise all their kid's could play div 1 as they were convinced I would chose players who had played for me. I was forced to keep them and not keep players who were much better. We came in first but when things got tough these write in's couldn't rise to the occassion. We won Provincials the next year with the players who deserved to be there.

After midget my son went to the Edge School for Athletes and I paid the tuition and hockey fees by doing three skills practices a week for them. He led the team in scoring by 40 points and the head coach of MHat came and watched him skate with some boy's who are now in the NHL and told him he could play for him but needed to get stronger. He trained for a few months but was still only 6' and 140 lbs and decided he was too light and didn't go to the main camp. That is the deal. You can be skilled but you have to be strong enough to compete and have confidence in yourself. He wasn't strong enough but the biggest thing is that at that time he didn't have enough self confidence.

So, I am rambling now but it takes so many things. It is best to be an early maturer but in my sons case he was tiny all through minor hockey but an astute hockey guy like Willy Desjardins (now with Dallas) saw him and told him he could for sure play and that he wanted him even though he was 19.

So I have gone way past the basic question here but I can say that in my experience.

1. It is great to coach your kid if you do a good job.
2. You have to be very positive in what you say to your child.
3. Once in a while some parents will be a problem.
4. It may take a long time but if a player is really good someone eventually will see it and give him an opportunity.

I gotta tell you that it is really tough to take your best buddy to airport.

'The Game is the Greatest Coach'
'Enjoy the Game'