Reply To: Help with Parents

[hockeygod]

Interesting conundrum. In hindsight, would you have selected your team this way (if you could re-do it?) Would you do this again in the future, knowing what you know now?

I know Tom said he had a shortage of D this season and he also took the best athletes to fill out his D.

You say the parents are questioning you. What about the players? Have you spoken to them directly?

How much time is left in the season?

If you had to make changes… What about going back and rotating different people through to play D for the rest of the season – 'subbing in' for those two whose parents claim they don't want to play the position – while keeping the two other D who are happy playing there?

Without having a genuine 'feel' for your team dynamics in the first person, it is tough to say. The tone of the letter is certainly matter-of-fact – stating the facts as they see them without attacking your decision personally… they sound like parents genuinely concerned for their kid losing his 'spark' for the game – they sound like they are being 'good parents' – nothing wrong with that. You would probably do the same if you and your kid were in their shows… would you not?

If that is true, I would strongly consider subbing other kids through the D position… after all, as coaches, we should be trying to 'ignite' the passion within our kids through Transformational Leadership.

It isn't about 'being right' or showing the parents 'who is boss' (I am not insinuating that here; just making a genral comment as I have seen it happen), or being worried about going against what you said earlier. If you think rotating players for the rest of the year is the best recourse, admit it and try it. By so doing, you will deepen your credibility in the eyes of the players and the parents.

If you feel you have parents (or players) creating a problem, additional dialogue between the parents, their child, the manager, yourself and potentially the rest of the coaching staff, should occur. Both 'sides' should have the ability to discuss their perceptions and ultimately, you as the head coach should present a resolution. Remember, you chose those kids… it is up to you to try to make this work. You must balance the needs of the team with the individual needs; and this is a delicate balance. Nobody wants to think that because of their coaching, you 'caused' a kid to lose his love of the game and quit. To me, that is the ultimate FAIL as a coach.

I hope a few more people chime in on this.

Good luck and please report back on what decision you make; and how it works.

Dean
M.Ed (Coaching)
Ch.P.C. (Chartered Professional Coach)
Game Intelligence Training
"Great education depends on great teaching."